Revelations
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: Reverse Verse Part 7 Sam finally has a talk with his father who has been hiding as the prophet John WInchester and learns a few details of the past.


Sam worked his mouth soundlessly before he closed it. Acting on impulse he tightened his grip on his glass and jerked his arm forward so that the contents went flying towards his father.

The liquid, of course, vanished before it hit him but Sam liked to think the intent of the matter was clear.

They looked at one another for a few silent moments before Sam shook his head. "I honestly have nothing to say to you."

"I won't force you." he said his voice light. "But I would like to speak with you."

"And I don't want to listen to anything you have to say." Sam said turning to face John. "You washed your hands of me a long time ago."

John obtained a pained look on his face. "Do you really think that?"

"Well what else would you call it?" Sam asked. He brought the almost empty bottle up into his glass and tipped it before frowning and bringing the glass to eye level. Even in the dim light there was something off about it.

"I think you've had enough to drink." John said softly as Sam sipped from the glass and gave a groan. His father had turned the alcohol into water. "And I would like it if you had a clear head while we talk."

"Who said we're talking? Like I said, I have nothing to say to you." Sam said glancing mournfully at the cabinet that held other bottles.

"Samhana." John started to say.

"Don't call me that!" Sam suddenly shouted. He placed the now empty bottle and glass to the side otherwise he might've been tempted to throw it. "That's not my name anymore!"

"And yet, you use it." John said. "The binding spell on Lilith, revealing yourself to the Novak's, and even now. How do you not wish for me to use it yet enjoy when Deanthral does."

"He was looking for you." Sam said. He started to pace around the room for lack of anything else. "He and all of heaven has been looking for you."

"If I do not wish to be found, I will not be." John pointed out.

Sam gave a snort. "And yet you reveal yourself to me."

"Because you and I are overdue for this conversation." he said. "I didn't wish to go to you when you were a demon because you had power and a purpose to Lucifer. You had no reason to speak with me."

"And now I am just a pathetic human." Sam said. "Well you got your wish, congratulations."

"The 'congratulations' is a bit premature. My wish is not for you to suffer but to learn." John said. "I wanted you to learn, I wanted all of your siblings to learn."

"Yet Lucifer and I are the only ones you cast out."

"That is because you and Lucifer are the only ones who tried to go against my orders and my will." John corrected. "All your other brothers and sisters obeyed."

"Hypocrite." Sam mumbled.

"How so?"

"You love the humans for their free will." Sam said. "Yet you despise us, myself and Lucifer, when we show our own. Instead of the loyal sheep that the other angels are."

"You don't understand." John said, his voice still patient. "I wanted you to learn, not to destroy that which I had created."

Sam shook his head. "I honestly don't understand you. You throw out myself and Lucifer, you abandon all the other angels. And then you claim that this is because you want us to learn."

"I want all the angels to know, I love all my children-"

"Bullshit!" Sam injected. "Bullshit you love all your children! If you did then you wouldn't-" he stopped himself suddenly.

"Then I wouldn't have what?" John asked gently.

Sam bit his lip as he shook his head, he bent forward so that his hair fell forward to cover his face.

"Sam?"

Sam took a deep breath and crossed his arms. He leaned against the wall, lightly placing his head against the plaster.

"Sam. Talk to me." John said walking forward.

"The day I was expelled from heaven, Adam was the one who took my grace and pushed me off." Sam said not looking at him. "He said that he was working on your orders, the one that started the creation of the demon was to be punished." He felt his lips shake lightly as he forced the next words out. "So why was I punished?"

John had obtained a pained look on his face. "I never meant for you to be the one who was punished."

Sam's head snapped up as he sharply turned to face his father. "What?" he barely managed to ask.

"Once I created the human beings I had left heaven, I wished to watch and observe on earth, and I had believed that Adam would be fair and just leader in my place so I left him in command. Once I learned of Lilith's turning I knew what Lucifer had done and assumed that Adam would properly hold trial and punishment."

John closed his eyes and shook his head. "You were an apprentice under an archangel, yes helping him was wrong and warranted a punishment however not to that severity. Lucifer as elder and instigator should have been the one to take full punishment."

"Adam, however, was blind in his love for Lucifer and to his own status of archangel and firstborn, to a point in believing certain privileges were owed to the four archangels. In the end Lucifer was his beloved brother and an archangel, you were a mere angel. Someone needed to be punished and to him it only made sense for it to be you."

"I went to you once you had become human and watched your anger as you eagerly accepted Lucifer's offer and became a demon. It was I, not Adam, who recalled Lucifer to heaven."

John opened his eyes and his gaze locked with Sam's. "It was Adam who threw you out of heaven. It was I who placed Lucifer in his cage."

Sam stared at him as he felt tears start to well up in his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and turned his attention to the ceiling.

"And then, for the next few millennia's you had me believe that Adams act was your will."

"You would have never listened to me if I did come to you." John said patiently. "I could have easily washed your soul of its corruption and placed you as an angel once more. I could even have made you an archangel to replace Lucifer. Do you know why I didn't?"

Sam hesitated and shook his head.

Johns smile was tolerant. "You know why, and I want you to say it."

The fallen angel stared at his father almost helplessly in silence. John simply watched the other as the seconds dragged on.

Finally Sam parted his once again shaking lips and said in a voice that could barely be considered a whisper "Because I wouldn't want to."

"Exactly." John said. "I would never force one of my children to do something they didn't want. No matter how much I wanted to."

Sam breathed through his mouth in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "Why are you even bothering with this?" he asked miserably. "I know you know of the sins I've committed. I'm not clean and I don't regret it."

"Because regardless of what you've done you are still my son."

"And what of Lucifer?" Sam demanded blinking quickly. "Or is he not your son?"

John sighed. "Lucifer…has always been the difficult one. Too proud. Too stubborn. Both he and Adam were too highly immersed in their ranks and what they believed was due to them. Lucifer…is not yet ready."

Sam stared at his father for a long silent moment. "What do you want?" he finally asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to set the record straight." John said. "After that, nothing."

"Nothing?" Sam repeated. He threw his hands to his sides. "So this war, you're going to do nothing?"

"This isn't my war." John said simply.

"No, just a little squabble your children started and now threatens the earth and all humanity." Sam said.

"My children started this so my children will fix this." John said softly. "I cannot clean up every mess of theirs."

"But you'll expect us to clean up yours." Sam said. He sighed and rubbed his nose. "It is heaven and hell against each other with only the four of us, this so called Team Free Will as Gabriel enjoys calling us, fighting against angels and demons."

"You forgot the Crowley fellow that always helps Gabriel and Castiel." John pointed out. "Not to mention the other friends they have. Put together and you have at least ten people on your Team Free Will."

Sam stared at him incredulously. "I'm going to punch you." he warned. "And I don't care if I break my hand doing it."

"Team Free Will." John repeated ignoring Sam's threat. "The true basis of humanity." He grinned suddenly. "Two pairs of brothers against the universe."

"The underdog." Sam mumbled under his breath.

"I've always been fond of the underdog myself." John said.

"Are you expecting me to beg or something?" Sam suddenly asked his eyes narrowing.

"Beg for what?"

"Help. Assistance. For you to get off your ass and do something about your damn children."

John looked at him before saying. "What about your grace?"

Sam felt his breath get caught in his throat.

"Would you ask for you grace back?" John asked. "Would you ask to be turned into an angel once more? Do you think if you ask properly I will return it to you?"

"Beg." Sam said softly. "You do want me to beg."

"I want you to learn." John corrected. "I want you to understand."

"I would rather die as a human." Sam continued as if he didn't hear his father. "And go to hell to suffer for my sins than beg for anything from you."

John sighed. "You're not there yet but you're learning, slowly."

"Go fuck yourself." Sam said. He rolled his shoulders back, ignoring the twinge of pain that shot up his back from the place where his wings had once been. He turned towards the doorway to where his bed was.

"One more question." John said ignoring Sam's groan. "Why are you fighting?"

Sam paused for a moment in the doorway with one hand on the doorframe as he turned his head to look at his father over his shoulder.

"Excuse me?"

"This war, between heaven and hell with earth caught in the middle." John said. "You're fighting with the humans, why?"

Sam felt his jaw move to the side before settling. "I don't really have that many options." he said. "Demons are ready to kill me because that means Lilith will be able to rise after Deanthral dies as well. Angels are ready to kill me because I am a fallen angel and a traitor. I can't survive on my own at the moment if either side comes to me. This is my best option."

"And…is that your own reason?" John asked.

Sam's eyes went to the anti-possession tattoo on his wrist and his other hand came up to lightly trace it. "I need another?"

"Is there another?"

Sam glanced up at his father. The two stared at one another for a moment before it seemed that all fight simply drained out of Sam.

"I'm tired." he said. "I'm going to sleep."

He turned to leave once more.

"One last thing." John said ignoring Sam's groan. "Please don't tell anyone I'm here."

"Not my business, not my problem." Sam said finally leaving the room.

The next day when neither dean nor the Novak brothers made a mention or changed how they approached John and Sam carefully didn't meet his eyes.

* * *

They left the prophets home an hour later and when Sam went to sleep that night for the first time in hundreds of years he dreamt that he was flying across the newly created lands of the earth with Dean by his side.

For the first time in hundreds upon hundreds of years his back didn't hurt once he woke up in the morning.

In fact, it didn't hurt at all.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**Sorry that it's so short, I just couldn't think of anything else to put in this chapter.**


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